101 useless musings of the unemployed
February 29, 2004
  Life the universe and everything
Ok, So there we where.. on the A47 heading back towards Manchester from a weekend away in Norwich, at times like that, my mind tends to wander and I find myself musing over some completely inane thought or two. This time around, I was pondering on life and the little difficulties it throws my way, one current problem I seem to currently have is that I'm entirely unemployable... 3 years commercial experience in web design, 7 (or maybe 8, i forget) years experience overall. You'd think that I might just be able to get a job. But no, everything I've applied for since becoming unemployed last October, I've either been rejected for or there's just been no response from recruitment agencies / employers at all.

It's fantastic.

The blow that kind of situation can deal to your self esteem / ego / sense of worth is intense, never before have I ever felt this low (currently I'm not feeling too bad, I'm riding on the waves of a fantastic weekend in the presence of some great friends).. a week or two back I was convinced I was beginning to go insane. Totally batshit crazy so to speak.

Then, halfway up the A47 heading towards Doncaster... realisation finally struck home. Life is what you make of it. I could spend an eternity wallowing in self pity, hating myself for who I am and the situation I've managed to get myself into, wanting to scream loudly on a daily basis to make sure I'm still breathing and being annoyed at the fact I still am, because breathing means facing another day of nothingness.

I could do that.

On the other hand. I could be happy that I have 4 functioning limbs, no rare tropical disease that will make my face slide off at the age of 25, the ability to poop without needing to detach a bag from my side, having a loving family, a good bundle of friends who I know I can rely on to cheer me up when everything seems like it's going to end in a horrible apocalyptic firey explosion. All these wonderful things we all take for granted. It was spectacular views like this on the way home today...

...that help's re-affirm the view, that life isn't all that bad really.

Apologies for a crap post, I'm not really good at this writing malarky and my thoughts aren't too clear right now, I promise something worth reading next time... honest guvna. 
The journey of one man and his blog...

February 2004 / March 2004 /

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